Surviving abuse and the court system takes a toll.
Trigger warning: abuse of a minor child.
It was a sunny November morning and I was enjoying my usual commute to work. My commuting buddy, David, and I typically talked nonstop from the time we got on the bus to the time he disembarked, about halfway to my destination. I can’t remember what we were talking about that morning. I just remember the way the sun hit my lap, almost like a spotlight on my phone when a notification flashed on the screen. I glanced down as I kept talking, and then I completely went mute. My heart started racing.
…
I spent almost the entirety of my pregnancy looking forward to a new episode of “Gilmore Girls” every Tuesday night. I had been watching the show since it debuted because I connected with the strained relationship that Lorelai had with her mother Emily. As I felt my own little girl tumbling around in my belly, I watched and imagined that someday she and I would be just like Lorelai and Rory.
We never got to see Lorelai with all of her sleepless nights and how she managed to work her way up at the inn with a child in tow…
On Solo Parenting
“I don’t know how you do it.” I hear it all the time — usually from a mom who has one kid in a sling, a toddler climbing up her leg, and one tugging at her free arm, begging to go. She looks harried and grateful at the same time. I can tell she longs for the days of meeting her girlfriends for cocktails after work and now her greatest dream come true would be to poop without interruption.
The truth is, it’s what I’ve always known because I didn’t really get a choice in the matter.
You could hardly…
We need to talk.
The Capitol building was the site of an attempted coup Wednesday as a group of White supremacist terrorists successfully stormed its doors in an effort to overturn the will of the majority of American people and subvert democracy.
This is maybe the saddest singular event in American history since September 11th (of course, one cannot ignore the COVID massacre facilitated by the same administration that incited and applauded this act of domestic terrorism, but go with me here). I have vacillated between binging news media and taking breaks to cry or do something to calm my nerves all day. …
Reconciling our differences is a necessary step toward healing our divide, but it’s not what’s next
In the two months since the election, I’ve cycled through all the stages of grief — denial that such a large swath of Americans chose to support the candidate with the racist rhetoric and policies, anger that I was being called hateful for proclaiming that I judged these people and was not going to be nice, bargaining with myself for not speaking louder sooner, depression at the realization that so many people are okay with how things have gone the past four years, and acceptance that things will not change. Not yet anyway.
If there was one major takeaway from…
Bailing out corporations is the most socially accepted form of government assistance, but when the government wants to bail out average Americans, everyone goes berserk.
I’ve been thinking a lot about student debt cancellation lately. Partly because I have a large student loan that I would be happy to be rid of. Mostly, I’ve been listening to the conversations from those who don’t support it. They have one of two arguments: 1) It’s not fair to everyone who paid theirs off already, or 2) It’s a reward for not being responsible enough to accept a loan that you can’t pay off.
It’s never about people who’ve carried the debt around like an anchor, unable to move out of an overpriced rental and buy a home…
Acknowledging our emotions creates a path to healing
If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you know that I am no stranger to abuse. I grew up with an abusive dad (who was raised by an abusive dad) and I have a child with a man (who was raised by an abusive dad) who was convicted of abusing our daughter.
On Saturday, people went racing to the streets to celebrate not just the installment of a new President, but the fact that we’ve been released from an abusive administration. …
We were failed by performative allyship.
Black, Latinx, Native American, LGBTQ+, Disabled, Muslim, Jewish and other voters from marginalized communities showed up in record numbers this election. Mail in vote totals broke records. Early voting broke records. Overall voting broke records.
All of the energy behind tearing down systemic racism and calls for equity and justice showed up at the polls last week and it was incredibly encouraging.
Until the returns started coming in.
When my daughter was young — in that fun phase of early childhood where they tell little lies as a means of pushing boundaries — her father and I had a conversation…
Your privilege is showing.
As I’ve strolled social media over the past few days, there are a lot of emotions running as we reach the end of this election cycle. Hope, fear, anxiety, disgust, excitement—all of the emotions are on full display, and rightly so. We have been through hell these past four years, and 2020 has decided to go big. With this election, there are groups that have more at stake than others and the outcome of this election could very well be life changing for many Americans.
BIPOC and LQBTQ+ communities have legitimate fears of what it could mean if this election…
Ableism and racism stem from the same root
While White America was reckoning with the realization that the Matrix does not exist and that our entire infrastructure is built from the bones of slavery (figuratively and literally), I have spent the past few months following influencers in the disability community and having an epiphany of my own.
Although I’ve been mindful of disability and accessibility my entire life, my latest realization started back in July as the American Disabilities Act (ADA) turned 30. At first, I was taken aback because I thought surely the ADA was older than I am. One of my best friends from high school…
