Lessons I’ve Learned Since Turning 40

I’ve been 40 for less than a month now, but I’ve already learned so much about what this milestone means to me. We all have ideas when we’re younger about what our lives will look like when we hit a certain age, and I’m no different.

My life looks nothing like I had imagined. Not the life I imagined at 10 (Well, 40 was so old back then; my parents weren’t even that old at that point.) Not the life I envisioned when I was 20. Not even the life I imagined for myself ten years ago when I turned 30.

In the past ten years, I started a completely new career. I discovered a way to use my creative talents and my analytical mind. I spend my days designing processes and writing about my life experiences. I’ve let go of the idea of the power career and have settled comfortably into one that is designed and controlled by me.

I embraced the co-parenting relationship I had been craving from the moment my daughter was born. I enjoyed the flexibility it brought to our lives and I reveled in feeling a completeness in our non-traditional family. I cried when that was shattered, and I still grieve the loss on a daily basis. I’ve accepted that we will never get that back, and that’s probably for the best. Sometimes we want things that aren’t right for us.