Thank you so much for writing this! Our stories are almost identical, which is terrifying and also comforting. It also gives me the right words to explain to other people who are quick to criticize why I don’t make any effort to have him in her life. In our situation, the need for power and control escalated to a severe child abuse incident. Fortunately for us, his narcissistic behaviors are so big that the one thing that would give him a relationship with his daughter — writing a letter of apology — is the one thing he refuses to do. Every now and again, he’ll do something big to try and get around it but we just hold firm and he slinks back into his cave until he comes up with another plan. The quiet has been delightful.