Member-only story
Was he abusive to you?
I always said no, but that was wrong.
After my daughter’s father was charged with child abuse, it shocked me to the core. He had generally been kind; was well liked by friends and neighbors. There were several times that he helped out when we needed it.
But after I would tell the story of what happened that night, the question always came:
“Was he abusive to you?”
He never hit me, but he left me to deal with an unexpected pregnancy alone.
He never hit me, but he chose his relationship of four months over his child. (She left him two months later.)
He never hit me, but he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with us. Repeatedly.
He never hit me, but he accused me of getting pregnant on purpose, to trap him in a relationship (that I didn’t want).
He never hit me, but he lied to his friends about why I didn’t come around anymore. (A few of them figured it out when they saw me and my daughter around town.)
He never hit me, but he never told his family that I existed, much less his child.
He never hit me, but he refused to meet his child after she was born. The first time he saw her, she was seven months old and he simply said, “cute kid,” as if she wasn’t…
